I've been thinking a lot about names recently. Not first names.. surnames. And what they mean to someone. What does your surname mean to you?
Is it romantic to think your name means "family"? That it means "where I belong"? And deeper than that, about heritage. I guess it's different for men, because a woman's name changes throughout her life as she takes on her husband's name and becomas part of his family.
I've partly been thinking about it because my husband and I are not yet divorced. He said he was going to file and I believed he needed to do that in defiance of what I'd done and as part of his "closure". Or maybe he just wanted to see how I would react, but he never took it further. I suspect the £450 it costs to file the petition these days had something to do with that though. And that's not me being cynical, it's certainly the reason I haven't done it it. Do you know how many pairs of Christian Louboutins you can get for that!? Well.. okay one but still!
Always My Lily..
Some of you.. if you're even a teensy bit more observant than I am.. will have noticed I've change my Blog display name to "Lily's Mum".
I'm a member of a few forums including the Fertility Friends Adoption & Fostering boards (which I can't recommend enough by the way, if you're looking for info and support) and a few people suggested I want to be a bit more "anonymous" as they are frequently used by SWs and VAs/LAs etc. and you never know do you so.. welcome advice anyway.
Also I don't want anyone stumbling on this accidentally, before I've had chance to tell them myself. Especially colleagues.
You may also be wandering who the hell Lily is! No.. I do not have a lovechild that I am keeping hidden from the world. But Lily is my little girl.
I'm a member of a few forums including the Fertility Friends Adoption & Fostering boards (which I can't recommend enough by the way, if you're looking for info and support) and a few people suggested I want to be a bit more "anonymous" as they are frequently used by SWs and VAs/LAs etc. and you never know do you so.. welcome advice anyway.
Also I don't want anyone stumbling on this accidentally, before I've had chance to tell them myself. Especially colleagues.
You may also be wandering who the hell Lily is! No.. I do not have a lovechild that I am keeping hidden from the world. But Lily is my little girl.
My Dads..
The good news is.. I reconnected with my step dad yesterday. No big dramas or explosions.. it's funny how much harder it gets to contact someone the longer it's been since you last spoke.
Anyway.. it'll be fine. We have lots to talk about but baby steps for now. I'm hoping to visit at the end of March when I take my sister out for her birthday.
And my other dad? Well.. I contacted someone the other day. Through their work email address lol. My super-detective friend found a company owned by someone with my dads name roughly in the area I believe he lived. And a picture of his son playing squash. He also seems to run some kind of cycling club which is interesting as my dad used to work for Raleigh.
A string of coincidences no doubt but I emailed his work address anyway and just asked if he had worked at Raleigh 30ish years ago.
Anyway.. it'll be fine. We have lots to talk about but baby steps for now. I'm hoping to visit at the end of March when I take my sister out for her birthday.
And my other dad? Well.. I contacted someone the other day. Through their work email address lol. My super-detective friend found a company owned by someone with my dads name roughly in the area I believe he lived. And a picture of his son playing squash. He also seems to run some kind of cycling club which is interesting as my dad used to work for Raleigh.
A string of coincidences no doubt but I emailed his work address anyway and just asked if he had worked at Raleigh 30ish years ago.
Interview Questions
Here are some of the questions I was asked:
- About me
- Why adoption, why now
- Do I smoke, drink
- Am I healthy
- Have I experienced any loss or trauma
- What is my experience with other children
- Anyone else living with me
- Relationships (i.e. about marriages, why they ended)
Step 1: APPROVED!!!
Well.. informally at least :-)
After 2 hugs on my way out of work and advice about not swearing! (I have a bit of a potty mouth when I get going) - Against my nature I turned up 15 minutes early. The offices are professional but not scary, and everyone smiled as they passed by me on the way in/out. No fancy reception or anything, which gave me comfort that they were about the business in hand.
I met the young woman (J) who interviewed me at the Information Evening and already thought she was lovely and she was. Just.. "normal". Like a normal person that has to ask me some questions and wants to help me.
I was there just under 2 hours in the end and she gave me a load of information about the process, the make-up of the team, about the kinds of children they place, etc. In the main though, it was for her to ask me a load of questions. I've listed them seperately (here) to give others an idea in preparation for your own interviews :-)
After 2 hugs on my way out of work and advice about not swearing! (I have a bit of a potty mouth when I get going) - Against my nature I turned up 15 minutes early. The offices are professional but not scary, and everyone smiled as they passed by me on the way in/out. No fancy reception or anything, which gave me comfort that they were about the business in hand.
I met the young woman (J) who interviewed me at the Information Evening and already thought she was lovely and she was. Just.. "normal". Like a normal person that has to ask me some questions and wants to help me.
I was there just under 2 hours in the end and she gave me a load of information about the process, the make-up of the team, about the kinds of children they place, etc. In the main though, it was for her to ask me a load of questions. I've listed them seperately (here) to give others an idea in preparation for your own interviews :-)
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