Crossroads Are Annoying!

So what happens next?

I can't say I fully know. I do know.. R is not someone I want to let slip by. I know enough to know that I'm prepared to hold off on my dreams of being a mum to see if I can achieve my ultimate dream of being one half of "parents".

A Spanner - With A Nice Smile and Good Arms..

What happened next surprised only me it would seem. Everyone else appeared to be labouring under the idea that the next "man for me" was just around the corner.. all except me obviously. My reply from the finance geek turned into several. And then a date, which went so well I could barely believe it. At the end of the date, he wanted to know if he could see me again and I said yes.

What Happened Next..

3 things happened next which have changed the course I am on quite considerably.

First.. remember this.. 
My mission to focus on finding someone, the "right" someone?  A good idea in theory but as you'll have noticed from the other posts - zero takers. ZERO. Okay there were actually quite a few but none you'd want! So before things kicked off, I decided it was no good. I couldn't focus on that and the adoption. If I wanted to do this, which I did - I needed to give it everything I could. I don't think I ever really thought I'd meet someone that way anyway and I didn't give it THAT much focus but it was still taking up space in my mind that with work and the adoption I didn't need. So it was time to take down the profiles and settle in to being single until after the adoption.

Little surprises..

I get to know people pretty well I think, my friends at least. And my family (some of them). And whilst I have struggled with it in the past, I think I open myself up to people enough for them to know me. I feel comfortable about how I feel about people and they feel about me. I don't really get paranoid about whether someone likes me or not (boys are a different matter), partly - if they don't, they don't. Chances are for similar reasons I don't like them. 

The Missing Link..

Wow.. seems ages since I've posted and so much has happened it's ridiculous. I'll try to break it into a few posts so you don't drift off into a coma. 
Some of you will come here from a link I posted on a few of the forums. Or some that saw the post and commented may be wondering where it's gone. Through some good advice in the comments left I decided to remove the post whilst I was in the middle of things, just in case it was seen by anyone at the agency. Thank you though to everyone that did comment, some heated debate :-) but I was grateful to everyone that took the time. I still have the post and everyone's comments and when the dust settles may re-publish it. In the meantime, I'll try to summarise the kink that appeared on the road to mum-dom.