Turning 'I' into FAM'I'LY..: Telling fate to do one..

As we get closer to The Big Day along with others in our online network, I've been asking around as to who's started buying stuff.

The general consensus seems to be that we can't possibly. Part of the reasons make sense.. not knowing the age or sex obviously makes it difficult. But our age range is relatively narrow and the sex is a cert for us so why wouldn't we? Fate apparently. Fate is the reason people thing we're slightly mad.

So I thought about it. And got slightly panicked actually. What if we ARE tempting fate. What if by buying that GAWJUS Mamas & Papas long cream coat (totally impractical but SO cut) before we're approved, we completely ruin our chances. Who is this bloody "fate" anyway and why are they picking on us!?

I looked it up.

tempt fate/providence

1. to do something which involves a risk and may cause something unpleasant to happen I always feel it's tempting fate to leave the house without an umbrella.

2. to cause bad luck for yourself by talking too confidently about a situation It's probably tempting fate to say so, but I haven't had a cold all year.

And THEN I found this study which is so interesting! It's a whole study on "why people are afraid to comment on a streak of success if they reject the notion

that the universe punishes such modest acts of hubris. Why so many people feel that it's more likely to rain if they don’t bring their umbrella or that a maddeningly slow checkout line at the supermarket is likely to speed up the moment they leave it in search of a speedier line." It's quite amazing really.. we can send people to the moon, fly in planes, microsurgery! Yet in such an enlightened world, so many people don’t believe in fate but refuse to tempt it.

There is a risk in me buying that coat. The risk is, it won't get used for longer than I anticipate. And by the time Lily comes home it'll be winter and she'll have grown out of it. In which case I know 2 little girls who I'd love to give it to! Of course it might not fit, she might be older than we're expecting but on that basis I'd have to be a bit of an idiot and have bought one for a 2 yr old when I know we could adopt up to 4yrs.

The risk isn't that it won't get used at all because we won't get approved. Or find her. Because that's the level of unpleasantness people seem to punish themselves with isn't it. It might not get used by Lily for the reasons above, but it won't go to waste. It won't STOP us from being approved. That would suggest that by being too confident about our approval, fate will consciously step in and cause havoc. It also suggests that luck will have anything to do with it. It won't. It might be luck who we get on the panel and whether they "like" us. But to a certain extent they don't have to. Our SW does and she's writing the report. If the report says we're "good enough" they can't turn us down because of a personality clash.

Are you shaking your head at my naivety? :-) That's ok. I'm not religious. I'm not superstitious. So maybe it's different for me. But to DH and I.. we know the only thing that is going to stand in our way of being approved is.. well us. We are working as hard as we possibly can to be the best candidates we can be. The reading, the research, the experience, the assessment.. we're not doing anything by halves (our wedding got planned in less than 3 months and it was not short on amazing!). And if God's forbid the system is so ridiculous that a personality clash would get in the way of us being able to give a good home to a child that needs it well.. we'll just have to do it again won't we. Another day, in front of another panel if that's what it takes. Second opinions, appeals, complaints even if we have to. WE'RE doing this. Fate doesn't have a part to play in this chapter of our lives. Phew! Panic over.

Guess what arrived today....