Chapter 2..

Someone mentioned my blog to me the other day and I realised how much I missed it. I write another blog too now.. about a different journey (because you can never have too many!), but I miss this one. A place to just.. download whenever I want, without worrying about annoying my friends or who I might offend or upset in the forums. And then it occurred that I never did update you all on what happened next...

Well I've been very busy indeed! The last post about my journey was in July 2012. I can hardly believe so much time has passed and so much has happened. I'm only going to summarise the story so far though because I want to be writing about the here and now and well, you probably don't have all day to read about everything I've been up to!

Those crossroads..? Well I took the right path of course :) We had a few hurdles in the beginning.. mainly because I'm a lunatic and it turned out I had few trust issues after the previous breakup.

I saw the counsellor and it was actually a revelation. I went because I could see a happy ending at the end of the tunnel and I didn't want to cock it up! In the end, we talked about everything.. family, relationships, work. I can't really describe how helpful it was. It helped the relationship a lot. It helped me validate feelings about my family.. about my brother and my decision to cut mum out of my life. Actually that part in itself was interesting.. I had never really thought about personality disorders before but after talking it through, I got a lot of clarity around some of the decisions she made over the course of her life. Still.. unforgivable but understandable. Not at all making me change my decision, if anything helping me feel like it was absolutely the best decision for me and my new family.

Speaking of which.. after some turbulence - we got married! And hand on heart I can say, it was the best day of my life. The sun shone.. our small group of family and friends - all of the people we love in the world - were there and it was beautiful. We got married in a location that meant something to me growing up. I had a LOT of bridesmaids! I did a speech and made everyone cry haha. And I will remember it forever. My wonderful photography friends took the photos and for once there isn't a single one I hate.

And then we moved to the country. To a beautiful house with a big garden and lots of rooms for children and husbands alike to play. I set up a studio at one end to help my other dream come true :-) and we lived happily ever after. Almost..

We soon realised we wanted to complete our unit and start a family. We discussed having our own versus adopting. A lot! We both agreed we would definitely want to adopt one day but we wanted 2 children and knowing that we wouldn't be able to start the process until we had been living together for a certain period we decided to try for our own first, with a view to adopting second. Briefly.. as much as we wanted a family, it never quite felt right. Through all the research and discussion, everything I have seen and heard and everything I know that I can't un-know..  it didn't feel right. And because my husband is wonderful and he doesn't care how his family starts.. we decided to wait.

And when the time came.. we started our adoption journey together.

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