Everyone is so relaxed around each other which is amazing after just
one day. Perhaps because we already know something relatively personal about
each other - that for some reason we are on this same road at this point
together.
We looked a lot at the types of "abuse" children can suffer
and the affects they can each have.
We talked about a lot about Theraplay, which the VA and others believe
can make a big difference in helping children with attachment issues.
The belief is that "it can improve a child’s behaviour and
emotional state by strengthening the parent-child relationship. The Theraplay
therapist guides the parent and child through playful, fun games,
developmentally challenging activities, and tender, nurturing activities. The
very act of engaging each other in this way helps the parent regulate the
child’s behaviour and communicate love, joy, and safety to the child. It helps
the child feel secure, cared for, connected and worthy."
There is a video on the Institute of Theraplay's website with more
details on what it is all about - http://www.theraplay.org/8400.html. We took
part in some real demonstrations so we could understand how it works.
We also looked at how we might handle what you could say were certain
"typical" child scenarios and those which weren't so typical. Such as,
a young girl that had previously been abused is suddenly being inappropriate
with a person that comes to do work at your house. Or a child, that you catch
stealing money from you. We talked through how you would deal with these
situations differently to that of another child.
I discussed it later with one of the girls I've met on the course (who
is absolutely lovely!) and our biggest worry is not knowing what is "child"
behaviour as opposed to "adopted" behaviour and does it matter. If it
is just child behaviour, does it still need to be dealt with differently? I
think I need to start reading some books on normal child behaviour, so I have a
basis for comparison!
I found myself telling a bunch of "strangers" a story that
I'd completely forgotten about from a very long time ago. When I was staying
with my Nan, we were in the local Shopping Centre. For reasons that I really
can't remember now (I had likely seen something I would like to buy and had no
money.. pocket money? What's that then??), I stole a £5 note from her purse
when we went to the toilet. (For all of my friends reading this.. yes you are
safe!) I do remember feeling instantly guilty. Some hours later, we were sat
outside a shop having a breather and she gave me £5 to spend on anything I’d
like. She said that if I wanted anything, I only had to ask. She didn't have a
lot of money but if she could get it for me she would. I didn't know at that
point that she'd known very well I'd taken it (though I later learnt that she
could tell you where every penny was in her house and how much she had at any
point without even looking!) but I instantly felt like a complete heel and
owned up. I gave her both £5 notes back and she let me keep one anyway, making
me feel even worse.
What utter genius! I never thought of it, till I recalled the story
during the session, but she managed to discipline me, get me to own up and make
me feel that I didn't NEED to steal from her, without even raising her voice
once! I suspect that that kind of "wisdom" comes with having had
children in the double figures. I also learnt after she'd died, that she did a
brief spell as a New York Cabby so I can imagine she might have learned some of
that then. I hope I don't manage to f*ck up my child even more, before I gain
enough wisdom to be as sensible as that!
Last 2 days to go next week. i also have my medical booked in, though I
still don't know if there's a charge or not. So far I've asked 3 people and
I've been given 3 answers ranging from nothing to £125! Hopefully I shall be
assigned a SW soon too. Not that I'm eager to start the Home Study, just eager
to finish it! :-)
No comments:
Post a Comment